Last week Josiah and I were on a walk around the neighborhood when we noticed a house for sale that caught our eye. We were not even looking to buy and something about this house just captivated us. As we walked on the sidewalk the owner of the house pulled in. His two little girls hopped out of the car and we sparked a conversation with him about the house.
We asked some questions about the house and the little girls were in love with our pups, Sonya and Bella. After our conversation Josiah and I continued on our walk completely entranced by this house. We ended up making a loop around the street and taking a leap by calling the realtor.
Through this experience we decided that we would put in our paperwork and find out if we could even possibly be approved for anything. To our surprise we were approved! This was great news. We decided to take some time on Saturday and look at a few houses, including the one down the street that caught our eye.
The experience was encouraging and very discouraging for me. We were super excited to think that in our near future we could be eligible to buy and house. But in the same moment of finding something which was in our price range we loved, the reality of finances settled in. To be honest, I did not take this reality check very well. I felt that something so inticing was dangled in front of me and then snatched away. I was so excited about the future that I had desired and planned for, yet obviously not enough.
Josiah and I are finally in a place in our lives where we are not living paycheck to paycheck, so our savings has not matured as we would have liked the past two and a half years. I know that I shouldn't compare our lives to our friends and the people around us, but I do. It is hard to see your life in a somewhat backwards motion compared to others.
I am trying to learn to be satisfied in what I have day to day. I am going to be honest, some days I am great with this and others I struggle. I long to have certain things in my life that I have just not obtained yet, such as a certain job and a certain status per say in life. Am I alone in this struggle?
I know that God will continue to provide for us in the future because he has in our past. I will choose to put this struggle at his feet everyday, even when it is not easy. He knows what our future looks like and although I would love to see the blue prints, I will choose to be satisfied with the tiny glimpses he does give me.
