Balancing Act

Obviously it has been a long time since I have been able to tackle this blog adventure. I have a hard time pulling myself away from my little lady. When I am not with her I try to spend time with my sweet heart, thus the beginning of my balancing act.

I am not saying this has been a difficult act, but it is something you definitely become aware of day to day. Sometimes I feel an expert at the juggling act, then there are times when all the balls drop. No matter what the day holds I am thankful I do have two precious people in my life. Not only am I blessed to have a sweet daughter and amazing husband, but a great support system.

My family helps me in this balancing act with advice and stories of how they were able to attempt their balancing act.

One issue I am trying to balance lately is work. I love staying home with Avalynn and still have the desire to be a stay at home mom. But currently I need to work. I am thankful for the opportunity I have been given to work part time. This allows me to get my Avalynn fix for the day and then go into work.
I am also pondering on the topic of going back to school to pursue my Masters degree. But I am still trying to iron out all the details. I guess I need to tackle my fears of going back to school. I think the fear inside of me is ultimately my second guessing if I can really accomplish such a task.

Life has changed for Josiah and I in an incredible way. Sometimes it is hard to imagine what it is like to actually eat dinner together or at a decent time of the evening, get a full nights sleep, or be able to go to a movie on a whim. But we wouldn't trade any experience we've had. Our relationship is entering into a new phase. This phase is exciting and challenging. We look forward to each phase our marriage will enter.

My blog is titled "The Enyart's Journey" for a reason. Everyday we go on a journey, wether it be learning something about ourselves, watching our little girl roll over, or just sipping coffee and sitting on the couch together. These are all daily journeys we encounter. Thankfully we don't have to go it alone. My life verse is Jeremiah 29:11. I constantly remind myself in good times and in bad, there is an ultimate goal to be acheived. And through life's journeys I will reach my goal.

Motherhood

I have now entered the wonderful world of Motherhood. Our house has been taken over with baby equipment, laundry, breast pumps, and the sounds of our sweet girl. Everyday I look at her and I am overwhelmed with love and amazement. She is such a blessing! I know every parent thinks their child is the cutest and sweetest, but I think she takes the cake! She really is the easiest little baby.

Here is a glimpse at some of my favorite things about Avalynn:
1. Her eyes.
2. The way she touches me when she is eating.
3. When she crinkles her nose up when she eats.
4. The way she looks at me when I talk to her.
5. Her little grunts when she is waking up.
6. The way she looks at Josiah.
7. If she is fussy and someone hands her back to me, she calms down.
8. How observant she is.
9. Her new adorable coos.
10. Ummm...ok everything!

Josiah and I recently decided I needed to go back to work. I was pretty upset because I had always wanted to be a stay at home mom. And once Avalynn arrived the desire to stay home was even greater. So I started to look for ways I could stay home at least part time. Putting pen to paper it seemed that was the best option considering how expensive daycare is for infant care.
I finally decided to give it completely over to God and let whatever came my way be what was best for my family.
So yesterday I finally heard back from work. They said they didn't have a spot for Avalynn until May. Considering I didn't have any other arrangements for her, I offered to work part time. Luckily I have a mother-in-law who can watch her in the afternoon while I work. But this is what I wanted. I will get to stay home with her half the day, she will get to be with her Granny, and we won't have to pay for childcare. So really it was a answer to my prayers.

I am constantly thinking of the scripture Proverbs 3:5-6. I am learning daily to trust in him with ALL my heart. Thankfully he has been very loving in teaching me this lesson.

Avalynn's Birth Story

Our little girl will be two weeks old tomorrow. It is unreal to think not too long ago I was still pregnant and our little girl remained a mystery. She is such a blessing. There are times I look at her and I can't imagine what it was like when she wasn't here. It seems she has always been here with us, which I believe she was, it was just deep in our hearts.

Her birth story began Monday, October 11, 2010. I woke up and had a leisure morning, sipping coffee and watching TV with my sister. I called my doctor to see if I could move my appointment to an earlier time, since my sister had to get back to Memphis after missing class for a few days. Also on that day I was feeling a little down so I decided to get dressed up a bit to lift my spirits. After dressing sassy and many failed attempts to curl my hair, I put the finishing touches on my outfit and Allison and I met Mama and the parents at Chick-Fil-A.

After the delicious meal, my mom and sister left to go to my doctor's appointment. My mother-in-law met us there and we waited and waited and waited to see the doctor. This was the longest time I have ever waited. The hold up was the sonogram tech was backed up with patients. Since we were delayed the nurse took me back to get hooked up to the monitors. This was to monitor the baby's heart rate and to measure any contractions I was having. Everything on the monitor was great.

Then I met with my midwife and everything looked great. We discussed her stripping my membranes to hopefully trigger the beginning of labor in 48 hours. Then I met with the sonogram tech who checked to see how my fluid levels were since I was 40 weeks. The tech asked if I needed to go to the restroom, which of course I did, and asked me to come back when I was done. When I came back my midwife was there and I could tell something was going on, but I didn't feel afraid. The first thing my midwife said was, "Your baby is naughty." We kinda laughed and I asked what was going on. She explained my fluid levels were very low. She explained they prefer your levels to be at the lowest a 5, which my levels were at 2.5. So we needed to get the show on the road.

I asked her if I could bring my support team back so they could hear all the details and also I didn't know if I could relay all the details with a clear mind. So as my team came back she explained what the situation was in a very calm and clear manner. I never felt scared, but the reality of my baby needing to come now was starting to overwhelm me. I just wanted to know she was going to be fine. As we were walking out of the doctor's office it was like a wave of emotions came over me. Thankfully I did have my team there to help talk me through it and assure me everything was going to be ok.

I called Josiah at work to give him an update, he was just like what you would picture a nervous and excited soon to be daddy would react like. I got into my hospital room and things started to progress by themselves. Then my midwife came in to break my water, or what was left of my bag of water, and it was in a matter of minutes it seemed when labor really started to progress.

Since Josiah and I had decided to have a natural labor and birth we were able to walk the halls to help keep labor progressing, get in the birthing tub, and use the birthing ball (yoga ball) to help me get into comfortable positions. I did all of these and much more positions to help me be comfortable. It was definitely hard, but I was determined. There was only one time when I thought I couldn't do it, but thankfully I had a great husband as a coach who helped push me through it.

It seemed time had stood still. I was thankful I had no concept of time. Especially when I found out I had pushed for three hours. But when Avalynn did arrive it was all worth it! It was like an electrical surge had gone through my body. I was so thrilled I did it! The first words out of my mouth were, "Mom, Mom, I did it!" I was so thankful my mom was able to experience the whole experience with me.

There is no way I could have done this amazing fete without all the people who helped me. I am so thankful for the team at the hospital. They were so supportive through labor and helped Josiah and I accomplish our goal of a natural birth. My midwife was also amazing. She was there through the whole process. She helped Josiah know what would help me be comfortable and guided us through the hours of labor. Knowing she was laboring with us was comforting.
Also my mother-in-law was such a great assistant coach. She helped make sure I was comfortable and Josiah was comfortable. Also she was constantly assuring me I was doing a great job.

And last but certainly not least, my amazing coach, Josiah. He was definitely my rock through this. He was there by my side the whole time. He was constantly assuring me I was doing a great job, massaging me, telling me to relax my body, to breathe, feeding me ice chips, etc. When Avalynn came he was just as relieved as I was.

So we now have our little girl here and would like for you to continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we go through new experiences of being a family of three. Keep posted for new and exciting updates of our new journey of being a parent.

Due Date

Today is suppose to be the big day. But unfortunately there seems to be no sign of activity. I didn't think I was going to be one of those women who can't stand to be pregnant anymore, but sign me up I AM!! I am just so over this state of being. It is not because I am uncomfortable or anything like that, I just want to meet my baby!

Yesterday I told everyone I feel like I am going to be pregnant forever. I feel I am never going to meet this person who has been growing inside me. It almost makes me ask the question- "am I really pregnant, or is this just a weird state of being?"

I guess I didn't think I would go past my due date. Everything seemed to point to her coming on time or a little early. But babies will be babies and choose when to come no matter what you circle on the calendar.

I did experience a big tease Tuesday and Wednesday. I had contractions all day Tuesday, but nothing that blew me away. Then into the night the contractions grew stronger, and we ended up going to the hospital around 4:30 am. They hooked me up to the monitors and everything was going good. I was told to walk for an hour to see if I would dilate more, to see if this was real labor. So after walking for an hour, the contractions slowed down and I did not dilate any more. We went home and I was exhausted. As the day went on my contractions went away. Needless to say it was false labor.
But my parents decided to head down from Memphis that night just in case anymore activity happened.

I have enjoyed having them around. It has kept me busy, but I am putting the pressure on myself to have this baby. But little Miss will come when she wants. I would rather her come when she is ready, then be forced to come. I just desire to hold her and see what she looks like. I am anxiously awaiting her arrival.

Please continue to pray for Avalynn and me. Pray she comes soon, but ultimately is a healthy and precious baby. Keep posted for more updates.

The Waiting Game

Cue the Jeopardy theme song. That is the way I am feeling these days. I am feeling like a walking time bomb...I could go off at any moment, sort of speak. People have been real supportive and have checked on me daily, which has been great.

I have been blessed with feeling great throughout this pregnancy. The only complication I have encountered has been a pinched sciatic nerve which flared up around the 23rd week and 37th week. It was really difficult to deal the second time considering I was carrying more weight and getting around a little slower than usual as it was. So I went to visit the chiropractor and it definitely helped. But she suggested to begin my maternity leave considering my job involves a lot of bending and picking up the kiddos. That was definitely difficult for me because I wasn't prepared to take my leave that early, but I am glad I am able to take some time for myself.

I am learning to adjust being at home. I am still getting into trouble by trying to do all the things that I use to do. I can do them, but I have to take lots of breaks in between. I just can't allow myself to go like the energizer bunny like I am use to. Josiah has been great about trying to slow me down, although sometimes I put up a fight.

We are so excited to meet our little girl! We are hoping she decides to come soon, we just can't wait! I went to the doctor today and she said everything still looks good. I am still dilated to a 2-3, and my cervix is 70% thinned out. Avalynn is very low, which is the right position to be in.
Our due date is the 10th, so I am thinking she is holding out for an awesome birthday, 10.10.10. But if she doesn't come by next week I will go to the doctor Monday and have a stress test, and sonogram to make sure fluid levels are good and everything else is good. If all looks good I will go twice a week. Since I have a midwife she will let me go up to two weeks past the due date. But if Avalynn decides to stay cookin for too long the induction day will be the 21st.

So the waiting game continues on. Only Avalynn can decide when she is ready to meet her new world. Please continue to pray for us as we wait on our little one.

Final Countdown

A lot has happened since the last posting. I guess I have been tied up trying to get everything in order for our little girl. It is been a whirlwind of activity for sure. We have put together her room slowly the past months. It is still a small work in progress. Mostly I just need to do some last minute organizing. Here are a few pictures of her room a few weeks ago before we added some items.

We also traveled to Memphis for a baby shower that my mother and her friends gave us. That was an "adventure" in itself. We had to adjust our plans for traveling because of a job interview Josiah had. Which ended up being a great blessing. So he has since changed jobs and is now working for the Shawnee Mission School District teaching 3rd grade. This was such a blessing! We are now going to be eligible for great insurance beginning October 1. So we have a little joke going that Avalynn is not allowed to come until after the 1st.

My Mama and Mimi

Ladies of the family

Last week my mother-in-law Susan gave me a baby shower. I was thrilled when my parents decided to come to Kansas and be a part of this celebration. It was nice to be able to show them around town a little, and have them see what preparations I have done for Avalynn. It was bittersweet when my parents left to think the next time I see them it will be for Avalynn's arrival.

My two moms

Susan's diaper cake she made

So now we begin the waiting game. I have begun weekly visits to the doctor. She seems to think Avalynn will be here early if not on time. So keep us in your prayers as we will begin a brand new chapter in our lives as parents.

Woman and Man

Lately I have been contemplating the difference between a woman and a man's brain. Not the brain as in the organ, but the mind. What was God thinking when he made a man the way he is and a woman the way she is? Why are we so different, but yet so much the same?
We can be the same in our likes, dislikes, dreams, desires, etc. What makes us different is the way we pursue these.
I have noticed how my mind has begun the morphing process of preparing to be a mother. There are things I never would have been interested in til now, and things I don't desire now. My drive towards certain goals are much stronger than they use to be, and then there are issues I don't even go there with I may have harped on before.
And then there are times when I feel I don't know who this new person is anymore, because of these changes. I was beginning to feel a little depressed about this change, but then I am reminded of the blessing in disguise. I am transforming into a new person, but deep down I am still Bethany. Most of the "new Bethany" I am dealing with now is one who is beefed up on hormones, low energy, and a one track mind. I know in time some of this will vanish and I guess some will stay. Learning to be the Bethany I am deep inside and the new Bethany will be the struggle. I am going to have to learn to mesh these two personalities into one with time, patience and support from people around me.

But what about man? What happens to a man when his wife is dealing with these struggles? I have a very loving and supportive husband, thank goodness, but what is going on with him? Is he going through the same things? Is he morphing into a new person, or is he so busy trying to appease the "new" wife he hasn't been able to focus on himself? I can see little things here and there with Josiah, but I think his real transformation is going to be when our daughter enters this world. See for me I have the constant reminder of our impending addition, through heart burn, kicks and jabs, sleepless nights etc. But for him I believe it's going to be with the wonderful gift of holding and seeing our Avalynn.

What do you think? Have you noticed a change in yourself? When was the moment of change for your husband, or for you? Have you embraced the new you? Are you looking forward to transforming into the new you if you have not already done so?